The infamous “Wall Wings.” Nearly everyone who has been to a Wings Etc. location knows about them, the hottest wings available at the restaurant. Far fewer have tried them. And only the dumbest of people attempt the Wall of Flame Challenge, in which you have to eat 16 of the wall wings in a row with no drinks, wing dip, wet wipes, or bathroom breaks. If you complete the challenge, you still have to pay full price for the wings, you don’t get a t-shirt, and in all honesty no one really cares. Your only mark of triumph is that you get your photo taken and placed upon the wall (hence the moniker “Wall Wings”). And with my competitiveness and love of chicken wings, I am just that sort of stupid person to try this challenge.
It was May 13, 2013. On a random day off of school and work, me and some of my friends and neighbors were hanging out when the mood of hunger struck. We brought up that it had been a while since we had eaten chicken wings, and I also commented that I had still never done the Wall of Flame Challenge, something that I had wanted to try ever since I had first heard about it years before. Given that I was to move away after graduation, I felt it was time to man up and cross this pointless win off of my bucket list for good.
When we ordered, the waitress gave me the option of boneless or traditional for my order. I was surprised, as I thought the challenge required one to eat only traditional style, as it would be much more of a challenge to eat around a bone than to quickly gobble down boneless nuggets. Not to be a punk bitch myself, I ordered the traditional style with my signature misplaced sense of pride.
When I started the challenge, I found that the spiciness of the wings themselves were sufferable, and that the biggest challenge would be eating all 16 of them. Yes, my mouth was hot and I was sweating pretty bad, but I was able to keep it cool and just continued to eat them without hesitation. My friends were amazed at how casually I ate them, stopping between bites to converse like it were any other meal. Unbeknownst to me, one of my friends actually started timing me during the challenge. When all 16 wings were gone, it had only taken me slightly over 18 minutes, which was even more impressive seeing as that I was eating at my own pace and talking during the meal.
I got my photo taken and chose to place it at the very top of the column by the bathrooms (at the Grape Road location in Mishawaka, IN, in case anyone wants to see it). I made sure to place it as high as I could reach, so that I would always know exactly where to look for it on a wall that has a fairly large number of photos on it.
What ended up happening that day wasn’t the real challenge though. Over the course of the next three days, I had unbelievable constant heartburn and gas that would not be soothed, and had to use the bathroom very often. Even more so, it seemed that every time I used the bathroom, I could feel the same heat burning out of that end of my body that I had once felt burning in my mouth during the meal. It was completely horrible.
After enduring the digestive pain during the aftermath, I decided that I would never be inclined to try to Wall of Flame Challenge again. After all, my picture was already on the wall. For anyone who decides to try it, I suggest that you eat them quickly, and stock up on antacids and fiber to help battle the treacherous days ahead.
Hot Wing Sports 